At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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