are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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