you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
