I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
