i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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