she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize