The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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