All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
this boner is exhausting
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
