nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
