My hand turned me down
I hope mine doesn't look like that
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
