coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
