It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize