So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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