i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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