just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
