How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I need to stop coming to work sober
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
