rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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