I seem to have left my pride at pride
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
