I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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