3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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