if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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