I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
