but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize