I feel like abortions should bother me more
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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