Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
