is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
