someone threw a dead crab at me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
