how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
