part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
