I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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