i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
