Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
