i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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