What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
