He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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