That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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