VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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