Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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