In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
