oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize