Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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