you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
