escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
