My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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