HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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