READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
