i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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