Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You pole danced in your parka.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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