I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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