Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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