how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
