just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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