He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
