Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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