i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
