? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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