I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
