she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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