Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
