I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
