i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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