We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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