After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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