I love black thongs
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
