No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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