if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Someone shit on the floor
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
