I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You can't motorboat a personality
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
