You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Its about making memories worth repressing
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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