i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
