And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
