Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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