I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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