I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
