You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize