You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
