No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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