We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
