Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
