Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
