On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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