just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
